If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
