Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
