Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
