We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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