That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
