Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
