Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
