When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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