I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
