You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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