ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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