When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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