just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
