i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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