I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
