so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
