Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
