Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He? As in you personified your dick?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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