I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
