ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
