so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
