I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Floor bacon is actually really good
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
