Got a toothbrush?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
