The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
