Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
