I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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