Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
