My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
