Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
