Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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