its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
