He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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