He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
