After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
