yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
