The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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