We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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