Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
