Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
