i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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