Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Are my feet made of real feet?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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