Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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