I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
