Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
