i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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