ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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