So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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