can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
