I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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