What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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