I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
