Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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